Governor Jim Gibbons’ wife is divorcing him due to his infidelity. He had an affair with Lesslie Durant, a former playboy who posed nude. What gives this woman the right to shatter her husband’s dream, just because it came true? This is every man’s dream and I applaud the Governor of Nevada. (True story, but just kidding around- I don’t want any women throwing things at me or making nasty remarks)
Archive for April, 2009
Governor Gibbons
Tuesday, April 14th, 2009Pirates are everywhere!
Tuesday, April 14th, 2009It took this last little international incident to wake up the American public regarding piracy. Piracy has never stopped and Johnny Depp did not create it. However, the majority of the times, pirates are paid their ransom, and the hostages are let go. My question is, how do four scrawny little twerps on a boat no larger than a canoe take over a freighter? I think we should mount twin-50 caliber machine guns onto the back and front of every freighter owned by an American company. The next time these little jackals want to try and pull this stunt, you simply blast them into oblivion. What’s wrong with that line of thinking? I bet you piracy will stop!
Madonna’s adoption
Tuesday, April 14th, 2009On April 8, a judge in Malawi stated that the little barefooted, fly-swatting, bloated, little orphan is better staying where she is, as opposed to having Madonna as her new mother. It’s absolutely amazing how one judge in a third-world country can actually make a correct decision. Because if Madonna kicks the bucket, then who’s going to take care of her orphanage? Leave the kids alone Madonna!
Sinbad and Dionne Warwick
Tuesday, April 14th, 2009The not-so-funny comedian Sinbad and the lady who doesn’t know her way to San Jose both owe $2.5MM in back taxes. Do you think “normal” people could get away with that type of preferential treatment? They made Willey Nelson do Willie-Aid, and the Feds evicted Redd Foxx out of his own house. These deadbeats need to be in the slammer, right along with Wesley Snipes! Why should I have to continue to support illegal Mexicans selling oranges on a street corner when these two idiots aren’t doing a damn thing!
Afghanistan
Tuesday, April 14th, 2009President Obama is trying to get Congress to spend another $84 billion to help with the war in Afghanistan, but now he has to listen to all his anti-war and democratic friends balk at his request! Although America has spent nearly $1 trillion dollars since 9/11/2001 in sending Iraq to the stone age, what’s another $84 billion to turn Afghanistan into a parking lot? Our troops need additional support, which unfortunately means additional men, but this will accelerate our victory! This whole time, Obama thought his democratic friends had his back. Well, at least they have a knife in it!
Obama urges millions to refinance!
Tuesday, April 14th, 2009President Obama is urging millions of Americans to refinance their homes. That’s because the interest rates are probably at their bottom; however, there is one little problem. Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae refinanced $77 billion in loans in the month of March alone! I thought these were the same institutions that helped cripple the American economy. After advising millions of Americans to refinance, Obama said, “If somebody is asking you for money up front before they help you with your refinancing, it’s probably a scam.” What he was trying to say was, “Be careful with these two companies.” I think I’m going to come up with my own Obama line of clothes. The first T-shirt will state, “Obama- Is this man for real?”
Stimulus Money
Tuesday, April 14th, 2009The stimulus money has been unleashed! The first $12 million of our $787 billion stimulus “bail out” was given to a small town in south-central Oklahoma to pave a two-lane dirt road. And, it’s has created jobs, just as Obama planned. It created twenty-four brand new jobs! Naturally, the jobs were given to Mexicans, who are willing to work for a lot less money. The money went to a company named Silver Star Construction. My point is, do you really think this is stimulating the economy, or pure political bullshit?
France!
Monday, April 6th, 2009I really hate France, for a lot of good reasons. Their attitudes, hairy armpits, and lack of teeth make it a 3rd-world country. But, to blame their economical mess on America is terrible. The only mistake we made was saving their butts in WWII. However, theirs a silver lining in every cloud. If they go into the economic abyss, we can buy them too, just like AIG and GM. I’m sure you’re all asking yourselves what we do with France……turn it into a bombing range!
IPOD?
Monday, April 6th, 2009Obama has raised the bar in giving our foreign dignitaries crap for gifts. It’s not the fact that the Queen of England is a weathered-down puppet, but giving her an IPOD is like giving Stevie Wonder a mirror!